I believe the 'putting on of the new personality' is part of the reason life after leaving the dubs is so difficult. To leave is to reclaim ones own identity, and individuality. It takes time to discover who you truly are apart from the b0rg and let one's creativity flow. Knowing the truth about the lie has made the transformation much easier for me now.
sweet tee
JoinedPosts by sweet tee
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Putting on the new personality
by mrs rocky2 ini remember sitting through countless meetings, convention, and assemblies and having the scripture about putting away the old personality and putting on the new personality hounded into us repeatedly.
in retrospect, it appears wt wanted us to give up any personality or individualism and conform to a new personality based on wt mandates and become a mindless drone.
i am so happy to be free to be me and no longer driven by guilt to conform to a mans interpretation of god.. when we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free.
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Why did you then and dubs now have faith in the divine appointment?
by Check_Your_Premises ini asked a dub this question, and have heard similar things in the past.
if i asked a dub why they believe in the divine appointment of the watchtower as jehovah's one and only organization i think they would answer in the following way.. 1. because of the success of the org, and all the info they put out, and the preaching work.
it has to be divinely directed, there is no other explanation.. 2. because of how well what the org teaches matches up with the bible.. 3. there has to be one true religion!
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sweet tee
Ans: Because we are the ONLY religion that glorifies the name of the father (as in the 'model' prayer - ("why don't they call it the Lord's prayer like everyone else???)) Who else follows the admonition: "go therefore and make disciples ...." Who else is giving the slaves "proper food at the proper time?". Finally, who else is "no part of the world" like we are .............................. THIS IS SICKENING EVEN TO TYPE!!!! -
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Ex-jw who joined as adults: How did you come to trust your own conscience?
by Check_Your_Premises insorry no raised-a-dub responses here!
just ex-jw who joined as adults.
on another thread i pointed out the idea that most jw who join as adults, do so out of a need to compensate for or as a reaction to some bad experiences such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, a time of upheaval, or just a plain old poorly developed sense of self.
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sweet tee
How did that personal growth come about?
It started just by working full-time. I was exposed to different ideas as I got to know my coworkers. Then when in corporate America I had the chance to go for various training, assertiveness, communication, real estate license, Franklin Covey workshops, etc. Things that made me have to think and use my underutilized brain. It's no wonder the society stresses full-time
booksalespioneering and lonely jobs - the REAL WORLD isn't nearly as frightening as they'd have people believe (you may actually learn something from them) If you're not familiar with the Franklin Covey method, it teaches habits for personal organization and being highly effective. The focus is on principles, paradigm shifts, values, circle of influence, roles and relationships. I've been using it since the late 90's.Were there experiences apart from the ones cited that helped you to have confidence in yourself? That built trust in yourself?
When my ex and I went to the 'brothers' for financial assistance but their help was conditional I knew I/we couldn't depend on them for anything if we really needed them. They helped me become more independent. No independent thought, no independent action. From then on I was no longer trying to lead on the congregation - in fact, I was SICK of looking to them for answers and getting nothing and nowhere. I then started making my own decisions in small things, like music and other entertainment. The one incident that broke the spell for me was an interview with a gospel singer who was very devoted to her mission. "Why would God destroy this devout woman just because she doesn't believe as I believe?" Once I asked myself that question I had one foot out the door. I really began looking at the b0rg. with a more critical eye.
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Reasons to make you leave a spouse/partner
by greendawn inwhat would it take for you to break up a relationship with someone you really love?
would it be physical abuse, refusing to go out and work, abuse of child, or whatever else?
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sweet tee
Lack of gainful employement
Abuse
Infidelity
Staying for the sake of the children - NO! Children are better off in a stable loving environment with one parent than a marriage that is filled with strife, distrust, depression, mental/verbal/phisical abuse etc.
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144,000 on The Simpsons
by sixsixsixtynine inin last nights episode of the simpsons, homer goes to see the movie "left below", and subsequently becomes obsessed with the rapture.
when they show an equation he's working on to determine when it will come, one of the numbers is 144,000!.
do any other religions besides the witnesses and adventists use that number?
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sweet tee
"Do you ever think that maybe we're wasting our time, and should go get real jobs?" Then they throw their magazines on the ground and walk away!
ROFLMAO!!! Great quote to use when the witlesses come to your door !
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Ex-jw who joined as adults: How did you come to trust your own conscience?
by Check_Your_Premises insorry no raised-a-dub responses here!
just ex-jw who joined as adults.
on another thread i pointed out the idea that most jw who join as adults, do so out of a need to compensate for or as a reaction to some bad experiences such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, a time of upheaval, or just a plain old poorly developed sense of self.
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sweet tee
I think for those who leave it is a process. The initial 'doubts' will not cause one to move ... it's a series of events and/or set of circumstances that gradually breaks the spell.
I did leave due to my personal growth coupled with experiences while in the tower and personal experiences with non-dubs. When I realized that my family still loved me even though I chose to associate with witlesses instead of them; and that some of my 'worldly' co-workers cared more about my well-being than the dubs did, it helped to readjust my views on worldly people, thus severing the cord that tied me to the b0rg: THE FRIENDS
When the 1914/generation light flickered, it was for me the third time the b0rg changed directions - I knew in my heart right then that they had no idea what they were talking about, and that all the Armageddon gibberish was just cult BS!
I think it took a period of about 4-5 years in all for me to actually leave. But each small awakening and every critical thought that followed was another nail in the coffin of cult membership. Of course I kept my doubts to myself, not even mentioning them to my husband at the time (or since). Strange how the prohibition on discussing one's doubts seems to make them grow stronger. Once I began to doubt the truthfulness of the society then I began to act more independently. I was one of those tow the line dubbies, turning in honest field service reports and ratting myself out for disobeying mother . So for ME to ACT contrary to their teachings was disassociation itself.
Before I even thought of leaving my two brothers told me it was a cult (did I believe them... NO). A couple of my mother's friends warned her too but I didn't listen. By the time I was ready to leave everyone in my family was so surprised they didn't know what to think but they helped me and my children to get on our feet when my long time spiritual family turned their backs on us like we never existed at all.
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Fun with Shunners ;)
by damselfly ini used to try and avoid running into jw's after i was first d/f, but the past few years i have taken a different spin on it.
at my old job as a cashier if i was the only cash open then they had no choice but to have me wait on them.
the apprehension on their faces as they approaached was hysterical.
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sweet tee
JAVA - That's a good one too, thanks for sharing .
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dubs are grim reapers
by andy2tanx ini read this on another site and thought it was interesting as well as on the nail when it came to how i felt as a kid.
grim reapers i've been doing some reading at freeminds.org, today, most recently terry walstrom's account "my life in jehovah's service.
this is a powerful and logically compelling account.
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sweet tee
I wasn't raised a witless but I also hated the thought that the majority of mankind would be destroyed. It wasn't until I watched an interview of a gospel singer that I really questioned the witless' outlook. I thought, if this woman has done all of this for God, why would he turn his back on her 'good works' just because she didn't believe as I did? It takes a lot of tiny cracks to break the dam of indoctrination.
I was of course not sure I was going to survive either,
I felt this way too. What's even worse is not knowing if your CHILDREN are going to perish because YOU don't measure up!
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whip it good
by Ms. Whip ini was really trying to sneak in here...but, it's only right to say "hi" and make a brief introduction.
glad to be here.
i just want to say that i apologize in advance for anything i might say from here on out.
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sweet tee
if i could give any advice to a jehovah's witness who was willing to listen, it would be to get out while you still look good. it's easier to make money, date and start a new life while you are still hot.
AMEN Sista! And welcome to the board!!!
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Why Does The Society Pick BORING Books To Study At The Bookstudy?
by minimus inmy mom hates the daniel book and doesn't even remember studying it before.
(she's 79 today).
maybe she's losing it.....i don't think so.
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sweet tee
I was hoping for an anouncement saying that the book study is not longer needed, it is an annoyance, it adds so much more stress and anxiety to the R&F and should for the greater good to all, must be done away with.
I bet the R&F would 'rejoice' over that!!! Therefore ... it ain't gonna happen .